


Break my Heart

by stardustpoison



Category: Sam and Colby
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustpoison/pseuds/stardustpoison
Summary: Y/N goes to a bar with Colby and when she thinks he doesn't like her back, she takes to another girl.





	1. Cassie

_"It feels like the way you feel after the first big snowfall of the year, you go outside and youre sweating because you are standing at the top of the tallest hill in town and then before you know it you are racing down at the speed of sound, laughing and crying all at once but you never want it to end."_  
  
_"You give yourself to somebody and you let down all your walls and... they break your heart."_  
  
-  
I found myself sitting acrossed my best friend in a bar after the movie watching an unreadable expression spread across his features. His bright blue eyes reflecting the red and blue lights from the signs around us. "Colbs." I called to him, watching his eyes snap from the girl at the bar behind me to meet my eyes, "What's up" He smiles at me. I shrug my shoulders, rubbing my wrist causing my bracelets to jingle. I looked from my wrist to Colby who had a beer pressed to his lips. I leaned into the leather booth as I watched the boy in front of me scan the bar for the first girl who showed interest in him. "Sorry to bother you." my eyes snapped up to the girl in front of me, "I just- You are really pretty." I smiled at her and watched Colby stand up from the corner of my eye, "Thank you!" She let out a light laugh as I motioned for her to sit in the spot that my friend had previously occupied. She shook her head, "I should get back to my date, not that I want to." she placed a piece of paper on the table before waving goodbye.   
  
Cassie - xxx-xxx-xxxx   
call me if you and the guy arent together ;)  
  
I choked on my drink, folding the paper back up and sliding it into my pocket as Colby came back. "Sorry!" he chirped, "I had to pee. What did that girl want?" I shook my head, "my number, I guess." I mumbled. Colby nodded, "You give it to her?" I scoffed, "I came here for you, loser." I gave him a light kick from under the table, sending his hands up in a defensive motion. "Didn't know that meant you couldn't get some." I rolled my eyes, spinning my drink glass. He smiled, bringing his own back to his lips.  
She was pretty but I had feelings for Colby, not that he would reciprocate but I figured I would just tell him today. My flight flew out early tomorrow and now seemed like the best time. "Colby, I need to tell you something." He nodded his head, indicating for me to continue, "You know how everytime I come up to see you guys, I always talk about _that_ feeling."   
He shrugged, sending a sigh through my body. "The ' _It's snowing and there you are_ ' feeling?" He gave me a confused look. "Ok, well, there's this feeling I get everytime I come here and it's the ' _I'm a kid in the first snowfall of the year feeling_ ' the feeling of pure happiness."   
That small sentence was an understatement. It wasn't that feeling, it was _I'm 8 and the first big snowfall of the year finally came around after weeks and weeks of waiting and my mother let me get out the bright orange sled with the yellow string, so I did and I drug it to the top of tallest hill in town. I was sweating from climbing the hill, but I didn't care. I went farther up the hill, onto the flat land and I placed the sled down and went back. I ran and jumped onto the sled, earning bad bruised but that sled went down, faster than light it felt like. I hit the bottom and started crying and laughing and alls I wanted to do was go again._ It was that feeling. The happiness from sledding, the crying from the bruises and the wind stinging my eyes and cheeks, the fear before I hit the bottom.  
"Y/N, what the hell are you talking about?" I let out a sigh of frustration, remembering where I am. "I like you, Colby. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that everytime I'm around you I feel like a little kid and I don't know what to do about it." The tension between us two was palpable and painful. I could see the look on his face, the 'I don't wanna hurt you.' look. I exhaled in a soft scoff as I downed my drink and stood up. "Thanks for... everything." I placed the glass on the table and pulled on my jacket. When I stepped outside the bright colored bar, a voice came through the otherside of my phone.   
  
[Phone converstations are hard so you _mystery_ ]  
  
" _Hello_?"   
"Hey, it's Y/N."  
" _Wh- Oh! You never gave me your name, but I put two and two together._ "  
"Yeah, sorry about that. Uh, are you nearby or...?"  
" _Yeah, I'm at walgreens down the street_."  
"Ok, cool. I'll meet you there?"  
" _Sounds good, aisle 5._ "  
  
Shoving my phone in my pocket, I turned back to the bar catching a glimpse of Colby through the window. I shook my head, getting into my car, driving to the small store a few blocks away. I walked in and went straight to aisle 5, seeing her crouching down looking at the shelves. "Hi." I spoke in a soft voice in order to not scare her. Her head snapped up and her eyes went soft, a sad smile spread acrossed her lips. I felt the tears drip down my face, "I give up." I sat beside her crouched form and pulled my knees up to my chest, "I spent years pining after him and he didn't even say anything. He couldn't even tell me he didn't like me that way. I knew he didn't but..."   
I heard her sigh and adjust her position, "It doesn't hurt any less. I feel that. Guys are dumb, they never know how to say things right or just say things in general, but that's the world. You can give yourself to someone and you let all of your walls down and wait around for them, but alls they do is break your heart." Cassie wrapped an arm around my shoulders, her auburn hair brushing my cheek. "They always break your heart, love." I rested my head on her shoulder, momentarily forgetting where we were, forgetting about him.   



	2. While You Were with Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colby lashes out, showing Y/N his true feelings.

I woke up with sunlight streaming through the white curtains, the room was so bright. Almost everything was white, except when it had turned nighttime. The room had a yellow glow. I stretched out, a hand brushing my stomach causing me to jump. "Sorry." I exhaled, calming down at the sound of her voice as she sat up. The sunlight illuminating her small frame, bouncing off her auburn hair. She was pretty. "Are you gonna head home or shall I make breakfast first?" I sat up, thinking. I still couldn't believe I canceled my flight, I should have went back to the traphouse and went home hours ago. Instead, I gave in to a whim and slept with a girl I hardly knew. I shook my head, "I'll stay if you want me too." she stood up, an oversized hoodie draping her body as she bent over to pick up items of clothing. "Ok, can you get started on breakfast and I can run these through the wash." she offered a smile as she walked out of the room. I stood up pulling on one of Cassie's tshirts that she left out for me and a pair of sweatpants. As I started breakfast, I started thinking about last nights events until my phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" I didn't bother checking caller i.d, no one ever called me. "Where are you?" I flipped the pancake, "at a... friends." I could practically hear him roll his eyes. "Ok, are you gonna come back here or something? I thought you were supposed to catch your flight this morning." Cassie had come into the room as I transferred pancake from pan to plate. "I might, it'll be awhile but I have stuff there and I was but I cancelled last night. I can't just leave now, you know? Unless he didn't tell you." I offered Cassie a small smile as I listened for Elton's next words. "Colby didn't say anything, actually, I haven't even seen him since you guys left last night. What the hell happened?" I inhaled and began to explain the situation, while flipping pancakes. "You dumbass. Of course, he likes you. Why do you think he waited so long for you? You just think he hasn't had a girlfriend for two years by coincidence?" I shook my head, "If he did, he should have said. Anyway, I'll talk to you when I get there." We said our goodbyes and I hung up. Cassie had split the pancakes into two even stacks, handing me one plate.  
  
"So, are you gonna try things with him?" I shrugged, shoving another pancake in my mouth. I hadn't had some in so long, especially not chocolate chip ones. I swallowed, taking a sip of my drink before answering. "I might. It just depends." I saw her chew her lip before nodding, "I'm sorry, Cas. I really shouldn't have... I'm sorry." She smiled, chewing her own pancake. "It's alright, I was lucky you were even into me enough to sleep with me. Just... give a call if things don't work out with him and yknow you actually wanna have a relationship with me or if you just wanna hang out." I laughed, finishing my first pancake.  
  
It was around noon when I went "home". Thanking god that I drove Cassie home instead of viceversa, or catching an uber. I pulled into the driveway and felt a sickness stir in my stomach as my eyes caught Elton awaiting my arrival out front. I parked and got out, meeting him halfway. "I still haven't seen Colby. He's here, but hes been locked in his room all day, wont even let Sam in." I nodded, thanking him before making my way in. It wasn't too uncommon that I was in his room, but this was the first time I was going in feeling like this. I opened the door and saw Colby staring at his ceiling, "Colby, can we talk?" I offered before stepping into his room. He made no indication that he even heard me, so I entered. "Colby, talk to me. I'm not going back home until we figure this out." He still didn't move.   
  
"Look, I don't know what you want me to do, Colby. You want me to say I'm sorry? Fine, I'm sorry I walked out, I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I...slept with that girl at the bar, I'm sorry for not going home. I'm sorry I love you?" I waited for an answer, it may be cliché but I was hoping he would interrupt me. It always worked in the movies. "Colby, give me something. Yell at me. Cry. Hit me. Whisper. Talk. Scream. Kill me, anything!" I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. He didn't even flinch, "Fuck. What do you want me to do? You want me to go home? You want me to call Cassie and tell her I regret it? I'll do it. I'll book the ticket, I'll call her. I will do whatever the fuck you want me to if that means you'll talk to me again. Fuck, just... anything, colby." Crystal drops fell onto the floor where I was standing as I shook my head. "Talk to me, Colby." I sat on his bed and he dropped his arm from his forehead before he pushed himself up, "You want me to talk? Fine, but get ready to listen." I inhaled and nodded my head as he stood up from his bed. "Heres what you missed while you were with her. I was starstruck. I was thankful and scared all at the same time because I loved you too. I waited and waited for you to say something and I realise now I should have said something but I didn't have the courage to do it. So, instead, I fucking waited for 2 years for any kind of sign that indicated that you liked me even a little bit and the day i get that sign, what do you do? You fucking sleep with some random girl you met a bar." He spit venomous words at me, every word cutting into my skin like knives. "and you know what I did when you were having sex with her? I fucking waited. I waited expecting you to come back and when i realised you weren't going to, I drank and I cried and I called Brennen, who drank with me. We sat there until the bar fucking closed, all because I couldn't stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to grow up and see the fact that if you did have any fucking feelings for me," he scoffed, chewing his words, not caring about the effect of them, not caring that the roommates could hear him yelling at me, "You would have NEVER ever, walked out of that bar and into her arms."   
I felt all of the breath leave my lungs as streams of tears and whimpers became floods and suffocated sobs. I felt pathetic and ashamed. Pathetic because i was crying, very loudly in a house full of my friends, ashamed because he was right. If I loved him, I wouldn't have even thought about leaving with Cassie. He had every right be angry and upset with me, I lied to him. I played with his feelings for two years straight. I made him believe that there was something all because I thought there was, we were nothing. We weren't lovers, we weren't soulmates. There was feelings. I had feelings for him, I know I do. They just aren't the same feelings he had for me. and they aren't the same feelings I have for Cassie.


End file.
